Alien 2: On Earth

“Now we're getting somewhere. Here's a movie that's ready to make the smallest attempt to take a shot at Ridley Scott's sci-fi slasher classic. It's a poor excuse for a sequel, but an interesting take nonetheless. We get to jump into Italy’s not-so-classic, Alien 2: On Earth (Sulla Terra). Brought to us by first-time directors Biagio Proietti and Ciro Ippolito, who had both acted and written for a few Italian productions before jumping feet first into quite possibly the most ambitious project they could helm. In 1979 filmmaker Ridley Scott introduced the world to his most famous property to date, Alien. A moody and atmospheric slasher set on a commercial space vessel. Essentially giving the victims no place to run. No way to escape. A property that seemed easy enough to follow up. However, Ippolito and Proietti didn't have any inclination to actually create a sequel. And this couldn't get any further from the source material. The plot in this one revolves around a group of cave explorers embarking on a weekend spelunking adventure in an abandoned cavern that is home to an ancient and slumbering creature who has lain dormant for thousands of years. The jerk-ass humans delve deeper into this cavern and unwittingly awaken the monster who proceeds to dispatch them one-by-one. More to do with The Beast From the Haunted Cave than it does with anything else. Clearly this began as its own thing and was made with almost no connection to Alien. And I say almost because there is clearly a bit of borrowing going on here with monsters ripping their way out of a human host. Well, one monster. And it’s yet again another highlight in this drab shite. The film was released in Italy on April 11th, 1980, and had the Alien name tacked on to try and attract an audience. False advertising at its worst. So, okay it's not an actual xenomorph movie. And it’s pretty low quality. Believe me I would be wanting my money back too. But maybe the cast can save it?”