Top Dog

“You guys hear that Chuck Norris died? Yeah, true story, it was back in '83 but Death was too scared to take him. I actually have an Okie Uncle that looks just like him. I guess he was fine in Oklahoma but, when he flew in to ORD he just signed autographs because it was easier. Get yours checked. Anyway, I just got done reading a review that praises this for diversity and intolerance of bigotry and now I'm really confused because that has nothing to do with this film. Really, honestly, nothing to do with it. What this film is is a horribly bad version of Turner and Hooch and that film was already horribly bad. Norris beats the bad guy and the dog takes the credit for it.... cut, repeat, print. There is absolutely nothing deeper than that going on here. It's got nothing to do with much of anything other than a few action sequences and some horribly bad jokes that not even my little sister laughed at and if memory serves she was 10 when we rented this mess. Watch it of you want, but understand that you have been warned... and if any one of did get a Chuck Norris autograph in Chicago in the late 80s and early 90s, I am so sorry.”