The Nude Vampire

“Just think of this as a bog standard Hammer film - only with loads of naked women who may, or may not, have pointy teeth. The nudity is all that gives this pretty tacky piece of cinema anything of distinction - and it is an objectified sort of nakedness that adds nothing at all to the seriously limited plot. Yep, there is a plot. A lad "Pierre" (Olivier Rollin) discovers a woman being chased by a dark figure in the middle of the night. Upon closer investigation, he discovers that she (a rarely seen and slightly enigmatic Caroline Cartier) is being held by his father. Can he find out why and save her? Is she worth saving? Is any of this? There is one especially hilarious scene where some gals fall down the stairs, but there are many others that test the patience and raise a grimace. I suppose it has perhaps acquired cult status because there is little point in slamming it - it is just a badly written, poorly directed piece of soft vampire porn that has dated as badly as many supposedly surreal or wacky films from the early 1970s. Maybe it can lay a claim to creative innovation or for trying to raise issues of sexpolitation and morality? I don't know - but don't take my word for it - watch it. Just don't blame me when you start to wonder why you bothered.”